I miss him. So much. Already.

We won't be together again until January 8. And we won't live together again until June 15.

I can't make it this long. I'll die without him.

So I received my information about picking up classes for Sacramento State. It all seems so real now. My appointment is on Dec. 4 at 2pm, so I'll have to skip out of class for a bit to do it. I've got three classes that I definitely want, so I need to come up with some back ups just in case.

Otherwise, everything is fine. I heard from some people in Sacramento about apartments...they can hold a unit for me until January. However, apparently some other person is interested in the unit and they're physically going to be there tomorrow. The landlord will let me know if they reserve it. If so, I'll probably have to look somewhere else. Lame. I hope I get it; it's a nice place, in a good location. The rent is $750 for a one bedroom (holy poop, Derek is paying $1475 for a one bedroom now!), there's a lot of things in the complex (like a pool, and laundry, etc.), and it has a covered (!) parking spot.

So, there was a huge fire in Montecito a few days ago. It's still burning but I think they have it under control now. It's about twenty minutes from me, so I'm no longer in danger.

This weekend I have to write two papers, do some reading, and also do some paperwork. Blech. I will be glad when school is over in a month. Oh, and I'm excited about the UCSB vs. UNC bball game! Unfortunately, to get tickets, you have to go to the UCSB vs. Utah State game on Monday, which sucks (since I have homework due Tuesday), but oh well. I hope we get tickets *keeps fingers crossed*

I felt like being spontaneous last night, but Derek was too tired and wanted to play his video game, so we've decided to go out for drinks and to bowl tonight. Should be fun! :)

Oh, and we saw Quantum of Solace yesterday. It was very good! I think Daniel Craig is an excellent Bond. The story was a little hard to get, but the action was really good.

That's all for now!

Life has been so crazy lately that I can't explain. School has been tough, driving back and forth between NorCal and SoCal has been a bitch. I have been having fun, though, so I can't complain.

School is the same. Papers continue to be due. Only four more weeks of classes and one week of finals, which I don't have. I can't believe it. We get Veteran's Day off, which means I have all of Tuesday to sit at home and do NOTHING! Yay!

I really don't want to talk about politics, because I'm literally livid right now about them. I have so many things to say but I won't. I feel like I can't talk to anyone anymore about anything because my views always take back seat, or someone always argues with me. I'm so tired of it and so angry I can't see straight.

I will say that I saw my first streakers at the UCSB vs. Cal Poly soccer game last night. One was tackled but I believe one got away. They were wearing some sexy thongs, I'll tell you. That made my life worth living, lol (just kidding; that's obviously not the only reason :P)

Anyway, I'm glad it's finally the weekend. I'm taking time off because I fucking deserve it. I will have to start working really hard soon (grad school, finding an apartment, packing, moving twice, thanksgiving/decorating, buying presents, papers, final, etc. etc.) so I want a break while I can take it.

peace out homies.

Hello all and welcome to the end of my week! I can't believe next week will be week five of the six week summer session B! Nothing much has been going on recently. I've got two papers and two finals coming up. After that, I'm heading off to France, Switzerland, Monaco, and Italy with my parents for vacation. When I get back I'll start up my last quarter here at UCSB! I can hardly believe it! Otherwise, I"m just trying to keep myself sane and keep on top of things. I should hear from Sacramento State in about eight weeks or so to know if I've been accepted or not (oh yeah, and I'm applying to San Jose State too, I guess). Soccer season kicks off (officially) tomorrow against Air Force, and then on Sept. 5 we play Kentucky!!! I am sooooo excited to go to that game :) Derek and I are doing excellent. I can't wait to get home to him every day after work. I will definitely miss him in the six months we're apart. Oh, and we're going to a friend's birthday party on Monday to try sake bombs for the first time! Sounds interesting. In other news, I miss my family and my friends!!! I haven't seen Tara since the baby shower (WTF?!) or Becky since Thanksgiving. That's pretty lame. I also miss Alex and Robby like the Dickens! I hope to see my fam and friends soon, but I don't know when :( Getting old is annoying because you can never find free time!!!

I guess the only other thing on my mind is that I'm in a Fantasy Football League on ESPN with Derek, Alex, Robby, and a few of their friends. I'm the only girl!! I got first pick though, so I got LaDainian Tomlinson, but I'm still really nervous!!! Wish me luck :)

So Mom and I are up here in Sacramento viewing the campus and the surrounding area, and I have to say I am super ecstatic. Ed has pretty much told Mom that he wants me to go here rather than anywhere else, and Mom is reluctantly agreeing. It means I"m already in!!! As long as I actually get accepted, I'm pretty much going here. It's amazing! We're looking at apartments and finding such nice stuff. I seriously can't wait until I get up here, and Derek gets up here too. I am sooooo incredibly happy!!!!!

First, I am truly saddened by my friend Tiffany's loss of her hamster, Houdini. RIP, little man.

And of course, now I'm devastated by the death of Isaac Hayes.

Okay seriously, people. Stop. Dying.

So it pretty much sucks to get older.

Bernie Mac died today. RIP, man, you will definitely be missed.

So many have died this year, including Heath Ledger, Brad Renfro, George Carlin, and so many more. It's really, really disheartening when people you know and love start passing away. I know that many of those are accidents, or are due to illnesses, but what happens when people of our generation start passing on? What about Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Mel Gibson? What happens after that?

Hey all, super excited about birthday in nine days! Derek and I went to a bunch of places last weekend, like the Ty Warner Sea Center, La Super Rica Taqueria, and the French Festival. It was way fun and we both had a good time. Now it's back to work and I'm doing lots of it, especially on grad school. But at least stuff is getting done.

This weekend Derek and I are going to Carpinteria; not sure what's there, but hopefully it will be fun. I don't have much homework this week but I do need to work on my final paper, my grad paper, and my personal statements. I'm also reading Barack Obama's first book (Dreams From My Father). I started reading it a while ago but I never finished, so I'm rereading.

Anyway, I'm about to get off work, then go to the gym. Talk later!

Good evening all!

Today I got up and went to my GYN appt. (ick) which wasn't as bad as I remembered. Then we drove to Camp Pendleton so I could renew my military ID card (yay for health insurance!). Then when we came back, I went with Mom and Ed walking for 45 minutes on the beach; we just bought a pedometer, so it said I walked 4812 steps and 2.43 miles. Crazy! I felt so good after that, I went tanning (which I haven't done in maybe two years or so) and then took a shower. Now I'm just doing the rounds before I take some practice tests on the GRE. Yes, I have to take the GRE tomorrow (bleh). It's four hours long, but at least I only need it for San Jose State (and I don't really want to go there anyway, so it doesn't matter if I do well I guess).

After the test, the week should be pretty good. Shopping for supplies (like a comforter, pillows, and other things), a hair appt (going back to my natural hair color finally), working on my paper. Then it's back to SB for summer school until mid September.

Hey all, finals week and I am so ready to be done with Spring quarter! Just at work today, from 12 - 5, then fooding and studying/packing. Then a busy week!

Today, at work, we've gotten an influx of scholarship applications for our young writers camp, and I must say, this breaks my heart. So many people write in, mainly Hispanic, who tell us how they are working very hard but don't make very much money, or how they work in the fields and make no money, and one little girl even told us how her father was in legal trouble (maybe getting deported?) and she couldn't afford to come to the camp. It's so sad because these children want very much to improve their writing, but they just have no opportunities. They have to work hard enough already, what with parents who hardly speak English, and then they have no money to improve themselves intellectually. They want very much to become better and to work for something better, but they can't. And that is so just not fair.

We need to work harder to make life livable for these people. We can't just say, "Oh go back to Mexico." These people came from Mexico looking for a better life for them and their families. It is rough in Mexico. I know I couldn't live there. These people want to be here, have every right to be here. We need to work on programs that help these children, that help their parents. We need a higher minimum wage that applies to ALL workers, especially those who must toil in the fields all day. We need to make it easier to gain citizenship so that these people can live here without fear, can get an education, and can also pay taxes (for those of you who hate that since they're illegal, they pay no taxes, and we lose a lot of revenue).

It really just breaks my heart. Here I am, worrying about money but then I'm able to go out an eat whenever I want, and my parents pay for my tuition, books, housing, car, cell phone, almost everything. I'm getting a great education with many opportunites, I have health and car insurance, and I really shouldn't be worrying about a damn thing. These people barely have anything; they can't afford to send their child to a three week camp for $245.00.

When I get a full time job, I really want to work with a non profit organization and help with young children, especially minorites. I feel like there's something I'm supposed to be doing to help these people, like it's my calling and my duty.

Sorry for the long post, just musing.

I just went downstairs to buy a Pepsi, and someone decapitated a stuffed dog and hung both pieces separately under the stairs so that you almost hit your head on it when you're walking down. And they put red jelly on its neck, and in its ass and everything. There's also a ton of jelly under it, as if it dripped out blood.

I'd take pictures but I'm a little afraid to. It's pretty fucked up, for real.

So they found a tumor in Sen. Ted Kennedy's brain. That's terrible news. I'll be praying all goes well for you, Sen. Kennedy. Get well soon. Cuz no one deserves to die, not even you.

what is it that makes guys feel like it's okay to bully me simply because I'm small? in the past week, I've had at least two guys (not Derek) tell me it's fun to pick on me because I'm small and quiet. does it make them feel better and more manly to boss around a poor little girl like me? it can be funny at first, but when they move to full on punches it really hurts. i think it's sad that they need to validate themselves by bullying me.

i'm really pushing kelsey to help me get my name off the lease, but she pretty much isn't responding. i need to do this, and then maybe i can start feeling better. probably not though.

really lame weekend. haven't felt this awful in a long ass time. no more partying for me, i think.

p.s. i'm losing my mind and my sanity here. please god, help me last until december.

I think everyone should visit this website: stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com

It is amazingly funny, and yet sad, because he's totally right on like, 75% or more of those (at least for me).

Today ended up being another good day. Went to ask my professor if she would help mentor me in the process of applying to grad school, and she said she would be honored :)

So she's going to help me in the editing process of my paper, perhaps write me a recommendation (though she's technically only a lecturer, so it can't be one of my main ones) and even help me with deadlines and things. I'm very excited about it all, and also very relieved. Takes a lot off my mind. Now it's time to start working on all of it!

Got a few things done today...went to the grocery, put everything away, and now I'm about to start reading for next week. Once I'm done with all my reading, I'm going to do my second week studying for GRE, get some head start on some papers, and perhaps begin my grad school apps (at least the parts I can work on now). I also have to edit my poem and write a bio for myself that's going to be published in that anthology.

Busy busy busy....but it's good!

So today was a normal day, filled with working and schooling. I had a bit of a breakthrough in my Contemporary Lit class, and I got called a commie (in a good way). It's okay; I've often thought Marx was right about a lot of things. Anyway, it led to a perfect paper idea for the class, and then furthermore to an idea for a paper to be turned in for graduate school. I've got my meeting tomorrow with my professor to ask her to be my mentor in this process and for her to overlook my work throughout the summer, and then hopefully ask her to write me a letter of recommendation. Then I'll take the paper to my professor for my senior seminar (who also taught me science fiction), have him look over the paper, and then write me a letter of rec (he already said he would).

Anyway, I got home and got the mail, like I usually do. There was one piece of junk and then something that said Western Publishing. I was confused for a minute, then I realized it's the company to which I sent one of my poems. They want to publish it!!!! I'm so excited. I have to send back in my signature so they have the right to publish it once, in that anthology, and to write myself a little bio and make sure the poem is correct. I've been published once before, but it was for some crappy poem when I was like eleven years old. This is just too good to be true!

I almost forgot...

Sunday I was driving home from Salman Rushdie's lecture and a squirrel ran out on the road. I saw him on the other side running towards my car. Split second, I tok my foot off the gas, checked to make sure no one was close behind me, and I slammed on the brakes, narrowly missing him.

Squirrely crisis averted.

This is going to sound a little convoluted, but...

My mother's uncle's ex-wife's husband passed away last weekend. He had cancer and it had been getting worse over the months. Rest in peace, Woody.

I feel sorry for my great-aunt Virginia...she was having  a hard enough time already without him living at home (he was transported to a rest home) and now that he's gone, she doesn't really have much else. She had had surgery on her knees and on her back I believe...I hope she doesn't take it too hard and keeps on fighting. My parents (or at least Mom) will probably be going down to visit her more often now. Woody's funeral is on Sunday (the day after Virginia's birthday, ouch). Please send your good thoughts her way.

So today Derek and I spent most of the day being productive (well, except the parts where Derek played video games, hah). We went to the Farmer's Market in Goleta and got some tasty peas. Later, we went to hear Salman Rushdie speak at Campbell Hall. He gave a lecture and then had a conversation with Pico Iyer. Afterwards we came home and I made salmon with the peas and some mashed potatoes. Later tonight I'm finishing my homework, cooking some meatballs for tomorrow night, and then perhaps doing some reading or working on graduate school stuff. This week should be pretty eventful, including my midterm on Tuesday and all the other stuff I have to do.

By the way, if anyone cares, I updated a few websites with different purposes. My newest one is for now a "thing's I'm thankful for" page but will turn into a photo journal from the day I turn 21 until when I turn 22. If you're interested, go to

http://kking24.wordpress.com

There's more websites on my facebook if you want to see my other pages. There's like, four more of them.